Mari Musings

Ham-ha, readers! I have a lazy update, with nothing crazy to share. I’ve been fairly busy the past couple of months, but there’s not much to ‘write home about.’ I’ve felt disinterested from updating my site, hence the lack of updates. I’ve been working on some backend stuff, but writing very little…

I’ve been working on taking better care of myself the past few months, and it’s paying off. I started taking vitamins and eating better, more consistently. My efforts have brought me energy and a much easier time sleeping, definitely something to be grateful for. I don’t own a scale, but I think I’ve also lost a bit of weight too. The clothes that would not fit me at all last summer fit “normally” again. Overall, I feel a lot stronger and better overall physically, and I’m proud of myself.

I need my strength because work and family have brought unprecedented challenges to my life. The oldest daughter curse never goes away. And as for work, I just try to be grateful for what I have and how far I’ve come. I’m trying to just keep ahold of myself and stick to my values, as alluring as casual evil seems lately.

As far as my hobbies, I’ve been playing games and painting Warhammer mini’s the past couple months.

I started a new Baldur’s Gate 3 playthrough a couple months ago. This time, I just played a regular Tav. My character, Maeve, is a Lolth-sworn drow bard …aka playing as myself LOL. I get the sense that I might be the drama in this playthrough, and perhaps, a bit unintentionally evil. At one point Shadowheart, Astarion, and Lae’zel kept disapproving of my actions, feeling disgusted by my Tav's callous brutality. But I’m literally righteous. Screw my haters.

I also picked up Tomodachi life in April, and it’s been a blast. I’ve come to a lull with it where I only play here and there throughout the day. One of these days, I’ll gather up the motivation to make an in-depth post about my island. For now, I will just say that my island is a chaotic mix of my OCs, the Baldur’s Gate rapscallions, the Witcher, and assorted characters from Dudu and I’s interests. The most important highlight is that Dumbledore and Gandalf got married of their own volition, with very little interference from me.

I also just started a long-awaited replay of the Witcher 3. I’ve come a long way since I first played it in 2020, and I’m breezing through the open world. I appreciate the game even more now that I understand much more of the lore leading up to it, having read the novels. I’m hoping to actually finish the game this time, as well as play the DLC for the first time.

Finally, I’ve been helping Dudu paint his Warhammer army. Progress is slow, sadly. I want to rearrange our office and hobby area in a way that it will accommodate both of us painting at once. It’s cluttered and messy at the moment, and that drives me crazy!

That’s all there is to say for now. I’m hopeful that things will improve soon. Just gotta stay on the grind :’)

I’m relieved that Winter is finally over and we’re taking our first soggy steps into Spring. Ostara was uneventful this year, though the equinoxes tend to be quieter affairs in my family compared to Litha and Yule. I didn’t do very much to celebrate.

My life seems to be a roller coaster lately, with many turns and roundabouts outside my control. I’m doing my best to focus on what’s within my grasp rather than what’s just outside my reach. I’ve unwillingly had to move to a mostly work-from-home schedule due to some office shenanaigans. I’m grateful, as always, to have a flexible job in that respect, but it’s so depressing to be home all the time. I would describe myself as an extrovert with a low social capacity. Meaning, I need to be social and around people to feel OK… but I get tired easily from [i]too[/i] much interaction. It’s quite the Goldilocks situation.

I’m making effort to leave my house, even if I’m by myself, going on walks and window shopping when I can. I visit my family often, but I swear, they are so crazy it gives me psychic damage. It work against the goal of centering myself lol. Maybe I’m the problem.

I moved my desk into my bedroom which seems like a poor idea, but it’s the room in my apartment that gets the most sunlight. It’s cheered me up a lot working in here. Plus, my spare bedroom is where Dudu and I play games and work on hobbies. The nice thing about having a dedicated work desk is to separate the two activities.

As far as hobbies… I’ve been slacking a bit on my web dev. I supposed it’s the usual waves of interest waning and waxing. I started a new campaign of Baldurs Gate 3, so most of my free time has gone to that lately. It’s been two years since I first played it, and that fact is mind boggling to me! It feels like just a couple months ago that I was singing its praises in my gamelog. I’m already planning my next campaign, hehe.

I think to myself that ‘I haven’t been drawing much lately’ but that’s simply true… It’s just that my drawings have been limited to OC doodles on legal pads at work rather than anything thoughtfully rendered or composed. I pushed myself to color one of my cuter doodles the other day, though. It’s my girl Sunny! Ironically, my favorite drawings are ones that start out as light hearted doodles. I think my lines are more confidant when I’m not trying too hard. It’s like I’m drawing from my heart. ♥️

Anyway, that’s all for now. I hope to blog more often and more casually, as is my intention. My life feels both uneventful and boring, but writing these entries remind me to appreciate the small things.

Feeling: Bored!

Playing: Baldurs Gate 3 (2023)

Watching: Grey’s Anatomy (S6)

Reading: What Lurks Beneath the Fates - Harper L. Woods (DON’T EVEN GET ME FREAKING STARTED)

Listening: Peter, Paul, and Mary

Wow, it's almost Valentine's Day! Maybe it's silly, but Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday. It's low pressure, red and pink, and there are hearts and chocolate everywhere. I love taking time to tell my loved ones how much they mean to me, especially Dudu. I've been sick in bed for the last week with the flu, and he took such good care of me. I'm so grateful.

Speaking of being bed-bound... it sucked so much LOL. I have a low social battery, and I have trouble keeping in touch. And, simultaneously, dialetically, I'm an extrovert. My cup is filled by being around people, and when I'm isolated, as was the case as I recovered from the flu, I feel so sad. I'm okay with being by myself and enjoy my alone time. But days of being stuck in my house by myself really gets to me. It makes me so crazy that I start missing my cubicle and the mean old ladies I work with. Thankfully, I am finally feeling well enough to rejoin society after a week in bed. I'm sure the feelings of 'please on the love of everything, let me go home' will return after a day or so hahaha.

As for Valentine's Day... Dudu and I don't have any plans which is just the way we like it. I'm going to buy him some model paint for his Warhammer figures he bought last weekend. I'm sure he will want to paint together, so let's count that as a date. Regardless, I love sitting next to him while we work on hobbies. I will be sure to share photos of the finished figures — they are pretty cool!

Here’s something I drew in about May last year. A coworker gave me a weird, square sketchbook. This drawing is a little rough, but it’s so cozy… I just used regular old Crayola colored pencils and a pen.

Feeling: A bit anxious

Watching: Grey’s Anatomy season 3

Reading: What Lies Beyond the Veil by Harper L. Woods (previously dropped)

Listening: Candlemass